Colin is the Technical Support guy, known to you as a disembodied voice at the end of the telephone [ThatDamnBlog]. He will have a discernible regional/ foreign accent, that enthrals and intrigues you, to the point where you wax lyrical just to hear him respond.

IT guys (I have known) have a habit of looking/ sounding alarmingly dishy. There can be any number of Colin’s in an organisation.

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Shelly is a character that can be found lurking in every office [ThatDamnBlog].

She has a relatively senior position in the company, and is generally liked by others. However, Shelly is the person worth growing eyes in the back of your head for. She has a nasty habit of being rather two faced. She will smile sweetly in your general direction – but her cold gaze is unmistakeable. Shelly has rather a lot in common with Samantha, The Micro Manager and Kelly – The Talkative Girl. They all get a little too close for comfort, and for the most part, cannot be trusted to keep certain information to themselves.

Shelly will make a point of marching about through the office, on one mundane duty or another, and will overhear you on a personal call, or see you check a personal email. She will then make it her business to tell the most senior person she can find – likely Samantha, The Micro Manager.

Shelly is genuinely pleasant as a person, and is probably well meaning. However, her meaner traits do leak through from time to time.

Beware… Shelly could be watching you read this right now!

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Various sources are reporting that Tom Cruise auditioned for multiple actresses to be his wife [ThatDamnBlog].

Ex-Scientologist, Marc Headley (who, foolishly, allowed his name to be released), leaked the details to ‘News Of The World’.

The set up was conjured by Scientology head-honco David Miscavige.

Cruise reportedly went to the church boss, bemoaning the perils of finding good quality wifey material. The plan was concocted to audition women for the part.

The church sent out a casting call that said, “There’s an upcoming Tom Cruise movie you might get a part in. Come for an audition.” There were of course restrictions: You had to be single, pretty and in your twenties. “They went for Jennifer Garner, Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Alba, in that order,” Marc says. “Jennifer and Jessica didn’t bite but Scarlett took the bait and came in for an audition. When she arrived and found out it was the Scientology Center in Hollywood, she freaked out and didn’t do a tape…”

This story is just f*cked up enough to be true. After two (or wateva) failed marriages, Cruise needs all the help he can get. Shame he didn’t manage to pick someone shorter than him!

For your own safety, this post will self destruct in 5 seconds…

[Source]

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Samantha is well meaning, and by all accounts, can be frighteningly good at her job [ThatDamnBlog].

Samantha’s main downfall, is that she likes to hover/ shoulder surf/ generally be in your peripheral vision (for no good reason). So much time does she spend, stalking you in the office, you genuinely wonder how on earth she gets her own work done!

Samantha will under-brief you; yet expect the world. She will under-prepare you; yet expect miracles. She will set unrealistic deadlines; then wonder why they were ‘missed’.

Don’t be fooled Samantha, is not as cute and harmless, as she first appears.

She comes across as friendly and chatty. So much so, that you consider relating to her as more of a friend… but don’t do it! Samantha, the Micro Manager, has a lot in common with Shelly, The Snitch and Kelly, the Talkative Girl. Any word uttered in either of their presence, will spread around the office like wild fire.

There is likely more than one Samantha in the office and it is not always easy to spot her; be careful.

[LolHampster]

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Britney Spears, today, has been given an allowance, “so she can spend money, have her freedom, and make choices about how she wants to enjoy her life.” [ThatDamnBlog].

The total spend, (issued via a credit/ debit card) allowed is $1,500 per week. Now, I have a pretty poor grasp of maths, how may Faps can one purchase on $1,500 per week?

Hilariously, the sum was generated by her father Jamie Spears. Britney’s allowance is precisely $1,000 less, per month, than he pays himself, nice!

All sarcasm aside, for one moment, must give kudos where it is due. There has been ever-so-slightly-less crotch flashing; boob baring; partying; midnight Rite Aide/ Petrol Station runs etc. Papa Spears really does seem to be helping his little one hold her sh*t together.

[Source]

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Maria is a sociable and well liked girl, in the office [ThatDamnBlog].

However, Maria has a nasty habit of extending her networking skills, online, and while she is supposed to be working. She will often spend upward of four hours per day on Faceboook – and yet magically finish all her projects.

She can be seen openly surfing, ‘poking’, and updating her profile. She writes on people’s walls, joins groups, and checks for new messages. Impressively, she does all of this without getting caught.

Maria has a job that one would presume is time consuming. Yet this is demonstrably untrue. Suspicious minds ponder whether she really has enough work to do.

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Inspired by the episode of Dilbert embedded below (2 mins, 50 secs), I, ThatDamnBlogger, would like to introduce some of the more irritating people that I have worked with over the years [ThatDamnBlog].

Kelly is no doubt a hard worker; diligent, and well liked. However, Kelly has a nasty habit of waxing lyrical, ad infinitum. Kelly takes upward of 10 personal calls per day, on her work phone, even though she has a mobile. Kelly has innumerable personal, and completely inappropriate conversations, throughout the day, distracting those around her. Thankfully, there is only one Kelly in the office.

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Welcome to ‘That Damn Blog’ a silly blog that will be updated a few times a week with funny news, personal ramblings, the big celebrity stories and any other pieces of fluff that float into my peripheral vision in the meanwhile.